So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
