I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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