Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
