FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
