Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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