If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
