at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize