So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
