I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
