He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize