he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
