She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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