I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
