I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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