Whoa Z and x make the same sound
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
