I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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