I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I still have a little drunk in my system
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
