we have officially lost it.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
