Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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