You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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