I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize