Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
