I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
