Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
