There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
