Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
