If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
