thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
