I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
