somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You pole danced in your parka.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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