i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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