what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
