He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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