She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
