that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize