eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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