Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
