a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
