Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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