i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
