I puked a lego.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
