he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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