I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
