Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
