I wanna bring you to show and tell
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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