if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
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