I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So much rum. So many feels.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
