I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
