Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
