Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
