Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I puked a lego.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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