that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize