Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
