you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
