I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
