There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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