You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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