i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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