His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize