its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
