1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
