can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I want her autograph on my taint
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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