You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
