Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
